The Bad News

Speaking truth usually makes me feel free. But today the truth that sets me free could either put others on the track to freedom or could put them in a life-threatening, soul-threatening bind.

In a group of needy people, all of us in need of one another in our own brokenness and for our own growth, I said what for me brings life. "What if our lives shouldn't be lived according to rules?" Granted, I had been reading Romans approximately an hour before and was thinking in my head that we as Christians do not live by the law. Christ fulfilled the law so that we might be free. But what does that mean for those who may not know Christ?

They will be stuck with the bad news. We are law-breakers. No one wants to admit that and as a control freak I know that I can only admit that because the Bible tells me so. The cross proves that being a law-breaker is serious business.

For me, the bad news is bearable because I know that Christ has made gospel out of the terrible news. I am a lawbreaker. I am not perfect. I am broken. I am a sinner. How can one bear that burden of knowledge if they do not have a safe place to put their sin and sinful identity? Without being told the good news of Jesus one is left with the option of despair or throwing their hands up and saying well I can't stop sinning so I'll just do whatever I want.

Do you leave someone with the bad, but all too true news that we are sinners? Do we tell them that they can't live by rules--that it is unhealthy and that we weren't meant to live that way? Or do we leave them with the relatively blissful ignorance that they are in control and can have control?

Unfortunately, it seems that ultimately the "bad news" will get worse. As my professor says, one day Job will come. Our world of easy living and following simplistic rules will be challenged. Perhaps it is best to carve out a place for grace so that the bad news does not have to do all the plowing. Sometimes it is better to live with the truth, the horrible truth, before we can get to the hope of saving truth.

Trials

As I was sharing my trials with a few friends at the Div School, joking about the craziness of life, another student whizzed past me saying "if you keep thinking that way, bad stuff will keep happening to you." I probably wasn't so nice in my response as I said something like "Jesus never promised us a nice life free of trials, but we're promised that He's enough." I meant every word I said, though it was a little argumentative and catty.

Yesterday I was watching a tear-jerking episode of Oprah about pre-teens and teens committing suicide because of the weight of bullying. (I know, it's Oprah, but this issue hits home for me as someone who has been bullied at times and as a former school teacher who loves children). They had an intervention session with a young boy who has at the crux of not being able to take the bullying anymore. At first I was very thankful that they offered this child some tools for dealing with the bullies. All of the other cases showed kids at first coming to adults asking for help and when that help wasn't enough then their depression led to suicide. They heard the cries of this kid who was desperately reaching out for help and they gave him tools...yay!

BUT, the Psychologist proceeded to tell him that he allowed the bullying and that he was making himself a victim. He needed to have a mind change to change his situation. I was flabbergasted! And so was the Sociologist on hand who has researched sexuality-based bullying for about 15 years.

This mind over matter stuff when it comes to trials is very dangerous. I think it is counterproductive to the Gospel of Christ. First, it almost screams gnosticism to me--where we focus on spiritual realities and ignore the physical. It also falls in line with the whole "The Secret" stuff which (hello!) is modern-day gnosticism if I've ever seen it!

Secondly, not only does it present a historic heresy that the Church has fought against, but many of these psychologies and theologies have their basis in the occult. The idea that if only I say these little words (like a spell) then all will be well. Look online for more on the background of these movements (the Secret, the power of positive thinking, and the health and wealth, name it and claim it theologies). I will reference my OT TA soon to be Dr. Eggleston who pointed out that the prophet Jeremiah had to fight against the false prophets who promised "a good word" vs. God's word.

As I've been dealing with my own trials, I've spent some time in James, 1 Peter and Psalms lately. Our trials are not caused by God, but allowed by God for our refinement. This is part of the reason why we rejoice in our trials--because God is drawing us close and pruning us. If we aren't voicing our trials before God then David and Jesus were both bumbling idiots. But I think there is a much deeper reality in rejoicing in our trials. Trials should lead us to Jesus. If God does not cause our trials, then where is He? What does He feel like? Does He care?

The answer is (duh!) of course he cares! How can a child of God be in pain and the God who knows every hair on our head and the one who encourages good gifts to children not be concerned about our welfare? When I find myself in these places, I remember that God likes to hold me, rock me, sing over me like a child who is being tormented. God is the ultimate mother hen--and yeah, Scripture says that. God does not like it when the Devil is scheming, but He also allows it because He sent His Son to die for me. That is how serious God takes sin and brokenness. Last night I had this mental image of God spread out over me to protect me as when something is attacking your child or your pet. You cry and comfort the fallen and you seeth at the oppressor. But instead of saying don't worry, I'll never let that happen to you again, I hear the sweet voice of God saying--don't worry, this is why I sent my Son. He's done it all. This too will be made right. He has already won through the cross and resurrection back in 33 AD and through Him I've claimed you and you'll see Him rise in final victory. You'll celebrate at the victory table which will also be a marriage banquent.

If our trials don't put us at the feet of the Cross where we find love, justice and mercy, then we need to wonder about whose feet we are prostrating ourselves before.

Frustrated

So, given that I am naturally extremely opinionated, I wanted to comment on Perez Hilton's blog about the whole Miss USA debacle, but I didn't want to give him the attention he craved by posting on his website.

So what's the big deal? Perez asked Miss California her opinion on extending gay-rights. A pertinent question for today's time, but definately one that is so taboo that it would almost seem unfair to put the question to all of the contestants. Carrie Prejean began by arguing that there is some right to choose in this country, yet she believes according to her upbringing that marriage is defined between a man and a woman. Perez's outrage against her is that she would not properly represent the diversity of people within the US and that she was therefore a bad candidate for Miss USA. So he gave her a zero for her score. They both agreed that her answer lost her the crown. Not only did her opinion cost her the crown, but she has been continually harassed by Hilton on his website and in media interviews.

I personally would not qualify her opinion as "hate." Her views were not expressed in hostility, though she may not be fully aware of the legal consequences that the LGBT community face by not being able to marry. Regardless, I applaud her for sharing her views even when she knew it would be unpopular and would cost her something that she deeply desired. She also does not seem to be crying foul for her loss and is simply making her views known through media outlets.

Ironically, this news (for me at least) came on the same day that I found out that the Westboro Baptist Church (a hate group listed by a certain important organizations that I can't remember the name of) picketed in front of the Duke Medical Center. I was incredibly happy to hear that Duke Chapel opened its sacred doors to host a breakfast for the LGBT community to show love to them and reaffirm that the views of WBC is not the Gospel.

Prejean's comments paled in comparision to the horrific language and views of the WBC. Simultaneously, Perez's response also paled in comparison to the means of correction that Duke showed. He attacked Prejean for alienating people (yet he suffers from minor myopia that her opinion is not rare and is shared by many--included their home state of California through a voting referendum). Perhaps she could have left out the comment that she saw her country agreeing with her opinion, but she did assert that she was aware that others have the right to choose.

Both Prejean, Perez and myself are equally broken people. I was shocked at Prejean's provocative clothing and photos, her self-identity tied into beauty pageants and her links with Michael Phelps (he's not worth her time given his own maturity issues). But Perez comes off as intolerant to those who do not hold his opinion, his website is overly obsessed with gossip, sex and dehumanization (i mean this in the sense of degrading what was meant to be godly about humans). I know that I too am broken, but I had to vent my frustration and lament. I'm not ashamed that I care about something so trivial because deep within me it reveals the burden that I carry for our collective brokenness as humans.

History and Christianity

UNC Asheville trained me well in the discipline of history. I can pull apart texts. I can find bias. I can compare methods and ideas. I can see a deep relationship between historical events and how they affect our everyday life and our stereotypes. The discipline is absolutely necessary for understanding society.

So what happens when society, history and Christianity intersect? I feel that I can assure one thing with confidence that always seems to apply to human beings and the Gospel: it gets messy. Our Protestant buddy Martin Luther claimed that the epistle of James was a letter of straw. How does that affect hundreds of years of Protestantism, Catholicism and Judaism? I don't know about you, but I'm not ready to toss James. What happens when you discover that a good chunk of Christian doctrine is mixed into the context of Greek philosophy and philosophies of other eras? How do we bring correction when modern-day people twist Scripture for their own agendas? What happens when so much more of the Scriptures become clearer once you learn to read the Old and New Testament well by studying languages, history, literature etc. because they were written thousands of years ago?

So often the answers to these questions can become clearer when using the tools of the historian. But at what point do those methods go too far? At what point are the tools no longer applicable to studying something as personal as Christianity?

I have some thoughts on this, but I think it is time to live in the tension of this often unrecognized tension.

My Spring Semester Academic Learning Curve

So, back by popular demand...is a blogpost. I gotta get back to doing the things I love--and this is one of them. Despite the fact that this semester has been all over the place when it comes to my health and ability to get to class, I've found that I've actually learned a lot! This list is not hierarchical, but simply stream of consciousness:

1) Read the Gospels in Synoptic Parallels. It is pretty fascinating when you read the Gospels through the lens of what the author chose to include in their telling of God's amazing story! If you are super-analytical like me, you will LOVe dissecting all of the facets of what each Gospel includes and what it doesn't.

2) Read the Old Testament. Read the New Testament. Read them through the eyes of a Jew. Read them through the eyes of a Gentile. Read them through the knowledge of Christ as Messiah. If you wanna go deep, don't just rely on yourself to come up with some miraculous interpretation, but use the concordance notes in your Bible. Chances are that if you read the echoes deeply, you'll have an interpretation that is much more orthodox and mindblowing! Think of the example of the significance of the tearing of the curtain when Jesus died. You only get the deep significance of that when you realize what the curtain was there for in traditional Jewish life. There are many more crazy occurances like this if you read deeply and interpret intertexually.

3) It is ok for those of us who follow Jesus as Lord to study the Historical Jesus. We don't have to leave that to Bart Ehrman. In the words of the guy who redeemed the study for Christ followers said post-WWII that if we aren't focusing on who Jesus was and who He said that He was, then we create our own Jesus (and he was refering to folks like Hitler). Let's not make our own Jesus--lets find and be found by the REAL one.

4) The Prophets ROCK!!!! They are bedrock foundations for the New Testament (and for understanding the life of Israel). If the Church truly wants to be the Church, we gotta read these scary passages and IN THEIR CORRECT CONTEXTS!!! Read around Jeremiah 29:11 and you might pee in your pants!

5) This is an overall lesson from reading the OT with Ellen Davis: a blessing from the Bible is usually blessing and curse wrapped together. Be carefuly when opening these lovely presents!!!

6) The Protestant Reformation can make Protestant Christians nasty people. Luther, Calvin, Zwingli and all of the other Reformers were pretty amazing (and you should read what they actually wrote instead of interpretting them through the denominations and doctrines that are named after them). However, be mindful that as someone said "the Protestant Reformation was an argument or a reaction." They weren't necessarily trying to turn over the whole he church. The interpretations of the Reformation have dramatically influenced how we treat others, how we think about God, etc. Remember this before you start to think that the Church started with Luther. Read Christians who existed before and outside of the Protestant Reformation. It might help critique our myopia.

7) Women were actually part of the Protestant Reformation and some of them were quite amazing! I think Katherine Von Bora is my favorite!

8) The Wisdom Literature is kind of layered: There is Proverbial Wisdom that upholds the status quo (though I'm told it is still not all bad...I'm still working on that one). Then there is Ecclessiastes/Qohelet who is your typical Ashevillian who tells you what is important (eat, drink be merry and throw in some spirituality b/c all else is vanity). Then there is Job who had crappy friends who tried to tell him proverbial, prosperity wisdom when God was trying to teach him about life with God. It is ok if your life follows this path. According to my super fab teachers: Beware! Job is always around the corner. Once God gets a hold on you, you may not get to go back to the simplicity of proverb world.

9) If you have never hung out with 600 page commentaries, you should!

10) Take Greek and Hebrew. I haven't taken them yet, but you realize how important they are when the scholars who are looking at the text are trying to figure out the significant meaning of prepositions: "Faith IN Christ" and "Faith OF Christ" are two highly differnet things. This would scare the crap out of Rev. Birdsong.

11) According to Ellen Davis, if you read something in the Bible that does not fit the commandments Jesus spoke about (love of God and love of neighbor) then you may need to move from a literal to a metaphorical interpretation.

12) This is my own interpretation of sorts but, when dealing with God, you must read with a lens toward justice and mercy, death and resurrection. As my dear friend Abraham Heschel suggests, read books like Amos and Hosea together as duel understandings of who God is. Read Jonah and Nahum together too.

Commonality and the Crazies

So I've waited a lifetime to be at Duke for the storied Duke-Carolina Game.

And the excitement hasn't hit me until now.

Granted I truly love my Blue Devils and I CHERISH the memories that they have made which are like patchwork pieces of my life. But this year my heart has been caught up in the mix of trying to understand where all of the emotion comes from--how we make something so small so big. How we wrap our identity into which shade of blue you pull for. How these false identities cover up truth: 1) that our identity is really covered and influenced by how we see God and 2) that every game is a good game to watch your favorite team--especially for me when it comes to Cameron.

So where does this excitement come from? Why now?

It started when I saw the campus covered in blue. I woke up this morning tired, but I still got up and put on my blue. The K-ville residents who have been sleeping outside for days and weeks are also in their blue. Our lecture hall was filled with blue.

There is something about shared experience. Commonality. It makes you a community and that is where the enthusiasm comes from--the them vs. us.

I got excited when I saw the suffering spirits of those Crazies whose airbed mattresses and sleeping bags litter the sidewalk. At first I wanted to think that there was NO WAY that I'd want to go out and engage in suffering in that way. But then I remember camping out and having the sheer joy that came through suffering with others. I'll never forget reading from an excerpt on a book about cultures of poverty about the importance of how the oppressed laugh rather than crying when faced with trials. There is something uniting and energizing about suffering not alone--but with others. It binds you together, uniting spirits. Commonality.

Thanks for the lesson Crazies!

The Infathomable Truths of Folk Culture

Southernisms. Ebonics. Hebrew.

What do they all have in common? The power of language and shared experience where culture is transmitted. Words are evocative layered onions.

Sometimes I get frustrated when I'm stripped of my colloquialism. When I loose it, I loose my way to speak, to have a true human voice. I must exchange it for argument, rhetoric, thesis-statements--the academic importance of a very very Western world. Please don't think that the language of academia is irrelevant, but it does provide a common language when vernacular (though more expressive, poignant, and even more to the point and accurate at times) isn't translatable and understandable to all. The frustration comes because colloquialism is my very voice and telling me to put it away means silencing my voice. How many times as a Southerner do you feel the pressure to speak better? Or to change your words? Or the Ebonics I picked up in high school--why can't I use those words when they may speak the essence of what I want to say?

I've struggled with the threat of wanting to hide my voice when in academic circles and wanting to only bring them out in the cultures that share the language. But as I'm learning Old Testament when the Hebrew words and images become important, as I learn the history of oppressed peoples in The South in Black and White, when I read about the dramatic display of both God's justice and mercy--I find that is the very language that I (and others) try to bury. For example, the double meaning of "blessed" like blessed prosperity and blessed out in black culture is much more accurate to describe the hebrew concept of blessing.

What happens if we begin to loose these modes of language in exchange for the argumentative style of writing? It begins to bury our culture and then even our very ability to communicate live--especially life cross-culturally and in our deep state of humanness.